Key Points for Teens and Adults
10 Key Points for Teens & Adults to Consider and Discuss
Almost all people need social validation, which means they need others to recognize and acknowledge their existence.
- Almost all people want to feel included, meaning they have at least one other person to relate to and/or a small group and/or a community to whome they belong. This community can be a community of family, friends, an event, organization and/or a work situation. Some communities are long-standing and others are transient in nature, but at the time they exist they are important.
- Most people recognize that others around them are having some type of thought about the persons, events or surroundings, even if no one is talking.
- Most people don't often say exactly what they mean. They suggest what they mean, but often leave their thoughts open to interpretation. For example, if you wanted a person standing near you to sit down you might say, "would you like to sit here?" rather than saying "I wish/want you to site here!"
- Most people don't really show exactly what they think and feel about others during interactions. People often disguise their more negative (or even very positive thoughts and feelings about their communicative partners, in order to maintain neutral to fairly positive interactions.
- Almost all people WILL tell someone else when they are upset by another person's behavior.
- Most people try to read other people's intentions in order to figure out what they really meant by what they did or said.
- Almost all people will monitor how they are being perceived and adapt their behavior to try and match the perception they want others to have.
- Almost all people are more likely to develop better friendships or alliances by "bitching" together (this actually has a research base).
- All people have to apologize - at times. It is not uncommon that others misinterpret our actions or words.
Why do we care how others think and feel about us?
Because it impacts how we think and feel not only about ourselves, but the community where we want to be included.