For years, educators and therapists have written about problems, the size of one’s problem, and what to do in response to the problem. Problems and their sizes have been depicted in thermometers and scales and rubrics and speedometers. Over the past five years, the Social Thinking® Methodology has dramatically shifted how we talk about problems and responses by adding language to empower many different learning styles. We do, however, continue to see the value of teaching that problems come in many different sizes and there are tools and ways to help oneself solve or avoid problems. This is a critical life lesson for all of us!

Problem Solving is the Key

The most important point to understand is that when we teach about the size of the problem, we are actually talking about problem solving. Given these two key words, “problem” and “solving,” we know a logical place to start. Let’s start with the concept of a problem. Understanding that there are all sorts and sizes of problems is the first step and not one to be skipped. This sounds easier than it is because depending on all sorts of factors, all problems might seem enormous to an individual. Visual tools can be very helpful in this process, and in fact, it was in the late 1970s that the first problem thermometer was developed to give individuals a visual representation of problems, stress, and other emotions. There’s nothing inherently problematic with using a scale or other visual tool to help individuals understand there are different problem sizes, but it’s only part of the lesson.

We also need to teach about ways or strategies to find a solution or solve the problem. We would argue that sometimes the solution is simply to seek help from another but notice that solving the problem is still the focus. Our role then becomes to teach students to feel more confident solving small problems on their own and to understand when and how to ask for help with bigger problems. Understanding that problems come in different sizes helps us in figuring out how to get the help we might need to solve a problem, avoid the problem, or just make it a little smaller.

Solving Different-Sized Problems with Different Strategies

To do this we start by understanding small problems are those we can often solve on our own in a short amount of time.

Small Problems = Solve on our own in short amount of time

Medium problems can take a little longer, and we sometimes need to get help from others. These are problems that can be out of our control, but they are solvable with help.

Medium Problems = We need help from others, takes a little longer to solve

Big problems are those that take considerably longer to solve and often require the help of several others. We define these by saying that even grownups need the help of other grownups to find a solution or just solve part of the bigger problem.

Big Problems = Even adults need help from others to solve big problems and they take a long time to solve!

Once students understand that problems come in different sizes, we need to talk about emotional feelings inside and the resulting responses. Every person responds to their problems, regardless of size, based on a number of factors like how their brain works, what strategies they have, who is around, where they are, what is happening, and many other factors. We can’t really tell a person how to feel or how to respond to problems, but we can teach them ways to understand what is happening inside and then how to get help. We can always support students by telling them it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by problems, even small ones, in the moment.

We can also help them to understand that other people have different sizes of problems too, and that when one person is having a problem-solving moment it might actually impact them too. In fact, another person’s problem may become their problem-solving moment too. The takeaway is that problem solving is something that we all need to learn!

So, whether we use our own strategies, rely on visual tools, or need help from others to understand the sizes of problems, the act of problem solving is a life skill! And as individuals age into upper elementary and young adulthood, we still need to teach that when one person has a problem when sharing space with others, it may impact everyone around them too. This is never to shame or blame a person who might be having a problem-solving moment, but rather to raise awareness that problems can impact everyone. It’s also important to emphasize that each person is in their own stage and awareness of learning about problems and solving problems, so empathy and patience should always be the first line of support!